PIRATES OF THE CANALS IV

Updated: Mar 22, 2021


A growing curiosity about the Highland’s evocative waterways led to another pirate adventure affectionately known as ‘Pirates of the Canals IV’. Eight months earlier I spent time in this wonderful land, cycling the NC500 in the heart of winter, wild-camping solo, discovering the charm of these remote communities. I fell in love with the Highlands, its unfailingly welcoming people, history and culture prompting my curiosity for paddling the Caledonian Canal.

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The Caledonian Canal connects the Scottish east coast with the west. It runs some sixty miles, but only one third of the entire length is man-made. Formed by four Lochs (lakes), twenty-nine locks, four aqueducts and ten bridges.

My passion for water and desire to create environmental impact, led to a promising collaboration with researchers from the Water@Leeds Network (University of Leeds.) A chance to conduct a scientific exploration on invasive species, an opportunity to contribute to research and engage the general public on our unique waterways and how to protect those.


Tuesday 20th August


After a 350 mile drive from West Yorkshire we reach Fort William, known as the outdoor capital of the UK, named after William of Orange who in 1654 ordered that it be built to control the Highland clans. Our pirate crew consists of my 11-year-old daughter (Little Lobster), the family dog (Shadow) and myself.

It is suggested we make our voyage west-east, to take advantage of the westerly winds and east-going currents.


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We have blind belief in the effectiveness of our homemade vessel. Icarus was built with exploration in mind. A roomy vessel, capable of carrying heavy loads, a couple of humans and a pooch; if those are placed strategically. Strapped on wheels, we tow the canoe uphill across the eight staircase lock, known as Neptune's Staircase. Carrying our provisions including enough food to last the whole journey is a Herculean task. Turns out this is the longest staircase lock in Britain.

Day one is short, only ten kilometers of paddling. A gentle wind blows in our favour, Athina opens an umbrella and propels us forward. We set a new PB for our fastest time for the distance!

Mark and his crew from BBC Radio Scotland ‘Out of Doors’ programme, meet us at Gairlochy. Our water-based interview provides us with belly laughs. "I've been on a lot of canoes in my time but this is a lot lighter than one would expect. There's something about it, it has a friendly feel, this vessel wants to help you, it wants you to stay on water; I like it!" he says enthusiastically and we take Icarus for a little spin.

Mark stays in touch and updates his listeners regularly. Some come to greet us, admire the eco-friendly canoe and offer us a helping hand.

One of them is Michael. He tells us: "I really enjoyed your interview, especially the part where you said: If we can do this, so can anyone else" and helps port our vessel.

Another listener emails us: “Hiya, just found your site after listening to you folks on Radio Scotland, I haven’t used my canoe this year but you guys made me feel like getting it back on the water, which I really miss and love doing. Thank you. Best wishes on your trip to Scotland. Scott.”

These people remind us of the importance to create fresh opportunities for daily gratitude. Because as a society, our happiness is without doubt, connected to the happiness of others.


The following day we paddle across Loch Lochy, over nine miles long. Folklore tales claim a supernatural being called the River Horse emerges from the lake and assumes a horse's shape before feeding on the loch's bank sand. We didn’t have the pleasure of this encounter, instead we arrange to meet with Wildlife Photographer, David Whitaker and his wife Hazel.

Their living room window has a spectacular panoramic view, overlooking the loch. On a clear winters day one can see a snowy Ben Nevis in the background. During our conversation David grabs his binoculars, approaches the window and tells us about the bird he spotted. The walls exhibit some of his best art pieces, testament of his high quality work, patience and love for nature. A black-throated diver bird captivates me, something about its sleekness and perfectly oiled feathers. David understands the animal’s habits, sees their personalities and anticipates what they might do at a particular time of day or in a certain situation.

We say our goodbyes but first we are warned about the ticks. They can carry Lyme Disease or Borreliosis, a potentially serious bacterial disease and can easily attach to bare flesh. We are encouraged to check ourselves and pooch for ticks every night, especially our hairline, arm pits, between toes, behind the ears and knees.


There’s a yellow rain alert. The rain water inside Icarus slowly rises and moves rhythmically with the waves. A masterclass in paddling and bailing out water simultaneously. We reach the North side of Loch Lochy, at Laggan locks.

Athina still coughs and Pooch whines, she’s not quite herself. We are thankful for the portaging trolley lying around.

Our sleeping bags are placed on top of a ground sheet and the tarp is secured above our heads using nearby bushes. There’s only one bivvy bag between us so naturally Athina has this. A bivvy is a waterproof cover for a sleeping bag, it adds a bit of waterproof protection and helps keep a little warmer. Changing into dry pyjamas makes us feel humane again.

The wind blows loudly and unforgivingly. It makes a whizzing sound as it enters the narrow lock walls. Pooch rests at the bottom of my sleeping bag and I wonder how she breathes. Her snoring reassures me she’s alright.

During the night a warm and wet sensation across my lower back wakes me up. I can’t believe it! Shadow has weed on me. Too scared to leave the comforts of my sleeping bag in this torrential weather she decides to relief herself in there. To add insult to injury, she then makes her way to Athina’s dry and clean sleeping bag.


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We awake by the tarp flapping violently. Gear gets packed fast and we wait at South Laggan locks for the weather to improve. Strong winds blow at twenty-five miles/hour; it is not safe to enter the water.

While we stand there, it's hard not to notice the sheer size of Laggan locks. Constructing the highest stretch of the canal at 32 meters (106 feet) above sea level would have been a major challenge. Robert Southey, the poet visited Laggan while work was underway in 1819. Looking down at the workmen he said: ‘In the proportion of ants to an ant hill’.

We consider plan B; A lift by a passing vessel? But none travel across Loch Lochy in this torrential weather. Will we sleep in the same exposed spot tonight? Little-Lobster’s cheeks are rosy and Pooch has her first tick removed.

‘You remind me of Dora the Explorer. I have an ornament at home that looks exactly like you; a little lady with a backpack and a pink jacket’ says Stephanie giggling. This stranger takes pity on us looking like drowned rats and offers us shelter. Her daughter Danny makes a fuss of Shadow. They put on a fire and we are able to dry out our kit and warm up properly. Their empathy and generosity is humbling.

We’re stuck- Every now and again, we step outside hoping to find that the wind has dropped. We walk a little further up and stand near the spot where presumably ‘The battle of the shirts’ took place in 1544. Some say it was so hot that day, the Highlanders took off their heavy plaids and fought in their shirts. Hard to believe as the weather takes a turn for the worse. We accept there will be no paddling and we spend the night with our new friends grateful for their hospitality. They share with us everything they have, with absolutely no expectation of anything in return. That’s all, a small miracle of trust.